Combat Stress Center.com

1. Be Creative

 

Today’s military offers many ways to stay connected: video and cassette tapes, video conferencing, phone calls, postcards, letters, e-mail and websites, just to name a few. Use them all and use them often!

 

2. Draw Pictures for Your Children

 

Depending the age, your kids will love to receive your drawings. Even older kids will get a chuckle out of your artwork. Everyone can draw. Yes, even you! The best part is that your kids will love your artwork, even if you don’t. So take a pencil, some paper, and five minutes to draw a simple picture. Then mail it home. You will make their day.

 

3. Have your children draw you pictures.

 

Again, depending on the age of your child, they’ll get a kick of doing this.  Let them know you got it.  You can take a picture of yourself with the picture they sent, showing it off to friends or in your hooch or vehicle.  Write on the back of some of the pictures you get and mail it back home asking your kids to ‘keep it for you’ in a scrap book until you get back.  That way it won’t get lost or dirty.  For older kids, exchange letters and e-mails often.

 

4.  Prepare for Changes in Your Children

 

A big concern many military parents have about deployment is the changes that they will miss in their children. They might miss the first steps, or the first words, or those all important birthdays. Again, stay connected with pictures and videos as much as possible during deployment.  Have the family send you pictures of family events, your kids participating and various activities and any developmental milestones. That way you can see and celebrate their progress and accomplishments.

 

5.  Allow Your Children to Ask Questions and Express Fears

 

Now that you are deployed, your younger kids not only have to deal with the boogey man and monsters in the closet, they worry about things they see and hear on the evening news.  Kids hear adults talk about the war and how dangerous it is.  Deployment can also scare and worry kids. While deployed, you and your spouse should talk with your children calmly and reassure them that everything is okay. Allow them to ask questions and express fears about your safety.

 

6.  Remember Your Sacrifice for Country and Family

 

It’s no surprise: Parents give up a lot for their children. And military parents give up more than most. They give up personal time, family time, and stable home lives. Who benefits from your sacrifice? Your family, your neighbors, and all Americans! Talk with your kids about the meaning of this sacrifice. Make them proud of what you are doing. It will make it easier for them to handle your being away.

 

7. Get Help If You Need It

 

If you need help during deployment, it is available. There are all kinds of help for all kinds of problems. You’re not alone. Do you have the blues or feel depressed? Are you in a deep crisis and need spiritual guidance? Regardless of your need, there are people who can help.

 

8.  Don’t panic if your kids behavior changes.

 

Kids don’t always directly express themselves the way adults do.  Missing dad’s presence may lead to a variety of different behavioral changes, such withdrawal, clinging to others, sleep disturbances, anxiety, and out right rebellion and misbehavior.  Don’t panic. Most likely, this is only temporary.  Kids often have more resiliency than we give them credit for. Advise your family that this is probably not the time for increased discipline and structure.  A little flexibility and understanding is in order.  Make sure key people know you are deployed (i.e., babysitters, teachers), asked for their understanding and help during this difficult time for your kid.  Even the most unpatriotic among us will be supportive of the troops and be sympathetic towards the child.  It should be emphasized that things will get better in time, we just need to ride out this difficult time in the kid’s life.

 

9. Make Sure Your Kids Providers have what they need.

 

For you Reserve and National Guard Troops, make sure whoever is caring for your kids know how to use their medical insurance and how to get legal aid from the military.  Let them know that the military has counselors, Chaplains, social organizations, libraries, and more. Make sure they have the number for your unit’s Family Support Group where they can get help and support while you are deployed.  Encourage the caregiver to reach out for help…for your children’s sake.